Bonding with Your Teenager

Francisco Guzman, LMSW, Case worker at LBU Community Clinic

We were all teenagers (a long time ago).  If we look back to our teenage years, we realize we were on a journey to find our identity as emerging adults while trying to make it to class, choose the right outfit for prom, and understand the meaning of 2(4-y)-3(y+3) = -11 (the answer is y=2, by the way).  As teenagers, we may have felt our parents didn’t understand what was going on in our lives.  As parents of teenagers living in the 2020s, we must deal with many factors that play a role in our children’s lives (social media, cyberbullying, cell phones).

Establish trust & listen

• Check in on your child and ask questions on how they are doing. Let them speak with you and don’t punish them for telling you things you may not agree with

Reinforcement positive behaviors & decision making

• Validate your teen for actions/behaviors you are proud of. Encourage positive social skills, problem-solving, and conflict resolution.

Work through conflicts by talking with your teen, not at them

• As you teach your teen what positive conflict resolution is, let them put them it into practice in situations that may involve you as parents.

Show interest

• Use your teen’s interests as an avenue to get to know them as a maturing individual.

Share your life experiences

• Tell your teen about your experiences as a teen.

Family traditions

• Get into a habit of participating in regular activities together (i.e., shopping, going out to eat, weekly game nights)

Boundaries

• Come to an agreement on specific limits that will allow your teen to be independent while also being safe & making sound judgments.

If you feel one of your kids may be struggling with behavior or feelings, please make an appointment at LBU by calling (214) 540-0300.